


A W A K E N I N G

by goandgetthegun



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force dreams, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Kylo Ren, Pining Kylo Ren, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 18:05:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13529703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goandgetthegun/pseuds/goandgetthegun
Summary: The idea behind this fic was "Star Wars, but it's a Kylo Ren point of view romance novel." So if that interests you, this fic might too! It's a reimagining of The Force Awakens (and eventually The Last Jedi) that follows the plot of the film very closely, much like the Force Awakens novelization but with better characterization.





	A W A K E N I N G

**Author's Note:**

> **A Dumb Disclaimer for Disney and Lucasfilm Because They're Ruthless:** This fic follows the plot of The Force Awakens (and eventually The Last Jedi) and uses scenes and dialogue owned by Disney and Lucasfilm. Obviously I don't claim to own any of it, or to have thought up the main plot points of the story, some scenes are original by me but I still don't claim ownership of any of it and I am making no profit off of this, so Disney please leave it alone (unlike my art ugh).
> 
> This is purely a reimagining and done out of love for Star Wars and it's characters and nothing more.

**A W A K E N I N G**

* * *

The dreams always started the same, a pleasant warmth deep within his core, barely noticeable at first. He melted into it, surrendering to the sensation spreading through his body gradually, relaxing his muscles still tensed with the stress of the day. As the heat inside him intensified, a thin layer of sweat appeared on his skin as he breathed out in a steady rhythm. At its peak, the heat reached incredible levels. Beads of sweat rolled down his flushed skin, soaking into the sheets clinging to him like the hair on his forehead. His breathing became laboured as his body struggled with the extreme change in environment within his mind. Always without warning, blinding white light filled his vision, blinking against the brightness, he shielded his eyes with an outstretched hand. His vision slowly adjusted to the expanse of pale orange materializing around him. 

He stood there silently, searching as unforgiving sunlight beat down onto his too pale skin. The sensation of it was something he almost forgot altogether, maybe even missed if he stopped to think about it. The desert was vast and always the same, an endless sea of sand stretching out in every direction. The barest whisper of a breeze blew over his sweat damp skin as he waited, offering a hint of relief from the searing heat.

He could feel her, he could always feel her. 

A blur just out of his line of vision, never quite getting a look at her despite his best efforts. She felt, different, something familiar yet new to him, a comforting kind of feeling. Maybe it was belonging, like home or an old friend, but those concepts where all but foreign to him now, maybe he never really knew those feelings at all. But he longed for it, for her, like there was a hole deep within him that only her presence could fill. He always tried to reach out to her, to make contact or to see something, anything. Desperate for any clue to her identity. But despite his efforts, the dreams always ended suddenly. Severed completely as he woke up wrapped in soaked sheets, his heart racing and mind hazy in the aftermath. 

She was always just out of his reach. 

Tonight though, the dream started differently. It was cold, almost freezing, instead of sunlight filling his vision, distant starlight reflected deep blue off the darkened dunes. He tucked his arms against his chest, shivering as he took in his surroundings. Behind him a huge dark mass like an enormous sleeping beast lay half buried in the cool sand, unfocused and barely visible. She was there, he sensed her just beyond his sight. This time there wasn’t the comforting peace he usually felt, but a heaviness in his chest. Something he recognized as the feeling of crushing loneliness came off her in waves. The air was thick with it, constricting his lungs as he struggled for breath.

Emotions that were not his own overcame him, filling him with a profound sadness as the heat of her silent tears rolled down his cheeks. He reached out, desperate to contact her, to offer what comfort could. He turned suddenly toward the dark shape again as a voice spoke softly in the darkness. Her voice. It echoed through him as he tried to make out her muffled words. They repeated again and again, vibrating through his body, becoming more and more clear each time until he barely made them out.

“Come back.”

“Wait,” he called out, waking suddenly. Breathing heavily, he sat up in his bed, shivering still as he ran his hand down the goosebumps covering his chilled arm. The remnants of her loneliness clung to him to him deeper than he ever allowed himself to feel his own. He closed his eyes again, reaching out into the vast impenetrable void separating them as he tried in vain to reestablish their lost connection. If only there was more time he could reach her, he could help her. After a few quiet moments of searching he gave up with a sigh. Pushing the fallen hair from his face he pulled his sheet back and moved to rest his bare feet on the cold floor. He shivered again, pulling his brows tight together as he repeated her words in his mind. 

Come back.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, ridding his mind of the ghost of her presence. It doesn’t matter. Without another thought, he grabbed the robe hanging on the bare, charcoal grey wall then pulled it over his bare shoulders. The ship would be reaching Jakku in a matter of hours, he needed to be clear minded and ready to face Lor San Tekka for the final time. The old man and the map slipped through his fingers once before, and it is not something he was going to let happen again.

Ren walked quietly though his darkened quarters, the soft padding of his bare feet across the shining floor the only sound audible over the low hum of the Finalizer’s hyperdrive running in the distance. Soon the Galaxy would be free of the Jedi scourge permanently, bringing in a new era of order. Where the Empire failed, he would not.

He took a seat in the leather armchair at the far side of his room then stilled for a moment. “I will not fail you,” he promised quietly as he moved his eyes over the melted helmet of his Grandfather, leaving the following ‘I can’t,’ to himself. With a deep inhale, he settled back in the chair then crossed his legs as his eyes fell closed. He exhaled slowly, centering himself as he reached out to the darkness. Focusing on his hatred, on the pain, but his thoughts drifted back to her. Back to the way she made him feel. 

She must be important, someone powerful, if not with the force then by title. A daughter of an Elder House perhaps. Countless systems had dunes on their surfaces, finding the right one would be next to impossible. He shook his head, attempting to clear his mind again. 

It doesn’t matter, he repeated to himself, eyes still closed tight.

****

****  


* * *

****

****  


Ren waited silently in his seat aboard his command shuttle as the pilots prepared it for landing. He kept his eyes closed behind his dark mask, focusing his thoughts as he prepared himself for his mission. In moments, he would come face to face with the man who stood as the only remaining obstacle in his greatest trial yet. Ending Skywalker was within his reach, the thought of the name alone was enough to make him tense with anger. He clenched his gloved fists stretching the leather tight across his knuckles, he would extinguish his equal in the light and he would become unstoppable. 

The ship shuddered as it touched down on the surface of the barren, sand covered world. His guards stood behind him, waiting on his orders as the engines powered down. “Sir?” one of them asked. Without answering, Red stood and started silently toward the exit, is guards following without another word, weapons ready. When the boarding platform touched ground, he walked forward through the cloud of gas released as the ship’s internal air supply met the cool, dry night air of Jakku.

Stepping out onto the sand he felt something, familiar almost, like he had been here before. Lor San Tekka, just memories of the old man and nothing more. He pushed the feeling form his mind and moved on. The village surrounding him burned, the huts encircling the central well collapsed into smoldering piles, sending embers flying into the night sky. Troopers and terrified villagers watched silently as he walked toward the old man he hunted for far too long. He stopped, feet from Lor San Tekka where he stood flanked by two troopers.

“Look how old you’ve become,” Ren said finally as he stared at the old man with contempt, his voice mechanical and cold behind his mask. The villagers watched with wide eyes while troopers held their weapons on them, ready to fire at any movement.

Glowing embers drifted between them as the two old acquaintances regarded each other silently for a moment. The air heavy with their shared history. Ren studied the old man’s face carefully as he waited, then San Tekka spoke finally, “something far worse has happened to you.”

Ren narrowed his eyes behind his dark visor. “You know what I’ve come for,” he said coldly, disregarding San Tekka’s attempt to catch him off guard.

“I know where you come from,” San Tekka answered quickly, raising his chin is defiance, “before you called yourself, Kylo Ren,” he added, making no attempt to mask his distaste for the name as he looked Ren over again.

Ren let out a breath, careful not to betray the anger burning at the edges of his carefully controlled temperament. “The map to Skywalker,” his voice emotionless as he spoke again, “we know you found it.” He clenched his fists tightly as he took a step forward. Sand crunched under his boots as he made his way around the old man, circling him slowly, “and now you’re going to give it to the First Order.”

“The First Order rose from the dark side,” San Tekka said as he shook his head, “you did not.” With that, the old man’s attempts finally found purchase within Ren’s cool exterior. He moved forward, invading San Tekka’s space in a few quick steps.

“I’ll show you,” he warned, looking at San Tekka’s face closely through narrowed eyes, “the dark side.” Lor San Tekka did not so much as flinch as Ren towered over him, never taking his eyes away from Ren’s mask. It only served to deepen Ren’s hatred of the man. Rage was coursing through him now, clouding his mind as he struggled to hold it together.

“You may try,” San Tekka spoke again, softer this time, a visible sadness in his eyes, “but you cannot deny the truth that is your family.” The words cut deep into Ren, burning him through to his core. His hatred consumed him fully, blinding him with rage as he finally snapped.

“You’re so right,” he said cooly as he ignited the fiery crimson blade of his saber. He brought it high into the air and swung it down through the old man’s body in one fluid motion. Lor San Tekka fell into a smoking heap at his feet as he breathed in deeply, centering himself again.

Before the consequences of his action and what it meant for the mission fully set in, something else grabbed his attention. The threat of a blaster pointed at him to his right. Reacting suddenly, Ren turned just as the blaster fired, extending a gloved hand toward the sizzling blue bolt, stopping it dead in the air between them. He held it there as his guards rushed toward the man, frozen in place like the bolt from his blaster. Ren stood back, waiting as the troopers hauled the man to him. One of them kicked the back of the man’s knees, forcing him to the ground at Ren’s feet with a grunt.

The man looked up at him, his teeth gritted as Ren knelt down to meet his eyes. They regarded each other silently for a long moment. The man’s dark eyes moved over his mask as Ren searched the Force for answers.

“So who talks first?” the man asked, looking into Ren’s dark visor, “you talk first?” he continued, “I talk first?”

“The old man gave it to you,” Ren said softly as he saw hazy glimpses of the man’s earlier exchange with San Tekka. 

“It’s just very hard to understand you,” the man spoke again, gesturing around his face, “with al the,” he broke off, staring up at Ren’s mask as he stood, having found what he needed, “apparatus.”

“Search him,” Ren ordered. The troopers pulled the man to his feet, Ren looked on as their hands roamed his body, checking pockets and working him over roughly as they went.

“Nothing, sir,” one of the troopers reported and Ren’s anger surged through him again. The map was slipping out of his grasp. 

“Bring him onboard,” he said flatly. The troopers grabbed the man’s arms and pushed him toward the transport. 

“Sir,” Captain Phasma said in a metallic voice as she stepped up to him, “the villagers.”

Ren turned, looking over the crowd gathered around the well. Frightened eyes stared back at him, their quiet terror flooded his mind and for the barest hint of a moment, he felt as though it would overwhelm him. These villagers were nothing more than traitors, to rid them of their despicable lives would be a merciful act. “Kill them all,” he ordered.

“On my command,” Phasma said as the villagers began to panic in front of him, “fire.” Bright red blaster bolts flew passed as he forced himself to watch the carnage play out. Villagers screamed out in terror as he took in the sight, committing every grisly detain to mind. Another memory to meditate on and bring him closer to the dark side. As the last villager fell, he turned to walk back toward his shuttle, the glow of the still burning fires lighting his way.

After a few steps, something caught his attention and he stopped in his tracks, turning slowly toward a trooper looking back at him. There were three dark red streaks of blood smeared across his helmet and something about him felt, wrong. He watched the trooper silently, studying him, searching him. Unable to spare anymore time, he committed the trooper’s identification number, appearing on his helmet’s optical display, to memory, FN-2187, then moved on toward his ship, followed closely by his guards. When he was out of range, he let go of his hold on the blaster bolt still hanging frozen in the air. It shot forward, slamming into the well as a hail of sparks flew out into the night air.

In the silence aboard his shuttle, the full weight of his actions sank in. He, and in turn, the whole of the First Order, were once again one step behind the resistance. He failed. Having to answer to his Master for his actions filled him with dread, twisting his stomach into sick knots as he sat quietly. He swallowed hard, his throat working against his snug neck seal as bile rose from his stomach. If he did not report it, the Supreme Leader would know, he would sense his failure and he would make him pay for it, dearly. 

The prisoner would talk one way or another, he would make sure of it. 

****

****  


* * *

****

****  


He stood at the far side of the small interrogation chamber, silently watching the bruised and bloody prisoner locked into the secure platform. The previous interrogators attempts were not gentle and ultimately unsuccessful. The prisoner, named Poe Dameron they told him, lay barely conscious and from what Ren could tell, completely unaware of his presence. This was not something he wished to do, it brought him no pleasure to infiltrate someone’s mind so deeply, so intimately. To take a part of someone he was not given. He knew how it felt, to be violated like that against your will, but as his last resort, he had no choice. 

“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the resistance on board,” Ren spoke calmly, his voice breaking the silence of the darkened room in an attempt to wake the man, to give him a fighting chance at least. Poe blinked his eyes as he lifted his head slowly, looking up at him. “Comfortable?” Ren asked, watching as Poe’s face twisted into a pained grimace.

“Not really,” Poe said, blinking his eyes again.

“I’m impressed,” Ren said softly, stepping toward the platform. “No one has been able to get out of you, what you did,” he paused, almost snarling the last word, “with the map.” He swallowed as he composed himself again.

“You might want to rethink your technique,” Poe said cooly, looking up at him from under heavy lids. Ren stared at him silently for a moment, the man’s resilience almost admirable. Perhaps if he chose the First Order instead of the traitorous path of the resistance, he could have been a valued officer. Unable to stall any longer, Ren raised his hand toward Poe’s face with a deep breath. Reaching into this mind, watching as Poe struggled against his restraints. Trying everything to keep him out. He pushed in further, harder, slamming the prisoner’s head back against the platform with the force of his intrusion. Poe let out a pained groan as he fought against Ren’s advances.

“Where is it?” Ren asked impatiently, wishing to end this quickly.

“The resistance,” Poe groaned, breathing heavily from strain, “will not be intimidated by you.”

Ren pulled his arm back toward him, slowly lifting Poe’s body off the platform, bringing him in closer. “Where,” Ren asked again, finding it hard to keep his composure, “is it?” he hissed. Poe cried out in agony, his mind unable to resist as Ren finally broke through. Within the prisoner’s mind he saw it clearly, the small, round, orange and white droid. He watched through Poe’s eyes as he handed it the chip containing the map.

Having found what he needed, he left the prisoner broken and unconscious.

“It’s in a droid,” Ren reported his finding to the waiting General as he exited the small chamber, “a BB unit.”

“Well then,” General Hx said with a satisfied grin, “if it’s on Jakku then we’ll soon have it.”

“I’ll leave that to you.” He brushed passed Hux without another word. His heavy footsteps echoed through the long, empty corridors as he made his way toward his quarters. Sick to his stomach with nerves, he breathed steadily, trying to center himself. Trying to prepare for what came next. His fists were clenched tight from a tenseness that never seemed to leave his body except- he swallowed, now was not the time to dwell on dreams. 

Once inside, he took a seat in the single, solitary chair in his darkened room. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply before reaching for his personal holo projector. “Kylo Ren,” the voice of his Master echoed as the blue static in front of him materialized into his imposing form, “what is your report?”

“San Tekka gave the map to a droid,” Ren reported, “keeping his voice steady, “the General dispatched troops to the surface to retrieve it.” He swallowed again as he closed his eyes, expecting the worse.

“Good.” Supreme Leader Snoke noded and Ren let out a breath of relief, opening his eyes again, “for your sake, I hope they find it.” Ren’s stomach tightened painfully as the call disconnected. He took the holo projector in his hand, turning it over in his fingers for a moment before throwing it against the far wall, the device shattered on impact. His hands trembled as he pressed the release valves on the sides of his helmet, it hissed as the seal broke. He pulled the heavy metal helmet from his head and dropped it onto the had floor next him as he took a deep breath of the ship’s climate controlled air. Dropping his head into his hands, he sat for a moment feeling his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

He closed his eyes tight as he tried to steady his breathing, his mind racing. He found himself longing for her, for the comfort she offered in the still hours of the night. 

Out of nowhere and alarm sounded overhead, bringing out of his thoughts as his stomach sank again. The pilot.

**Author's Note:**

> So I posted this as kind of a test to see if anyone would even be interested in this before I put more effort into it, because if not I'm just going to scrap it, so let me know I guess, thanks.


End file.
